Not what I was expecting.
I had an appointment with my psychiatrist this week. He went over the reaction I had to the last med he gave me, and the fact that I haven't had really great success with any meds in the 13 years he has been treating me. He made me fill out a question sheet and then we talked again. He thinks I may be bipolar. My heart sunk to my feet. I cried. I feel there are more negative views with that diagnosis than with just depression/anxiety. Anyway. Apparently, you can stay in a depressed state for a looonnnggg time. Say, 13 years and counting...lol. He told me that some people with a bipolar 2 diagnosis may never cycle into a manic phase. I have done some reading and think I may have had some...but they are very brief.
I am actually kind of excited to know that there may be relief in my future. There is a really bad side effect to the meds he put me on but it is really rare. I might develop a rash that will need to be treated in a hospital or it can be very dangerous. I went to a website that has reviews from regular people and most of the feedback is very positive on this one. So, wish me luck!!
I was really scared to tell Scott about this. He really doesn't understand my anxiety/depression. But he was very nice about it and hopes this new med works well for me. When I told Tyler he said "That actually makes alot of sense. You go from laughing to yelling in seconds some days, mom". And Brianna said the same thing. So, I guess I ignored the signs for years.
**I understand there will be readers who don't believe in the psychiatric field and/or the need to take medicines to feel normal. All I ask is that you kindly respect my belief in them. Thanks : )
*** I will do a Disney entry this weekend sometime. Yes, with pictures.
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- Tracie
- I recently quit my job with General Motors after working there for 14 years. Going back to school soon so now I get to decide what I want to be when I grow up : ) I have two teenagers who think they know it all. Yet, they can't seem to remember where the laundry goes or how to do dishes. I have been happily unmarried to my guy for over 17 years. He works harder than anyone I know and I appreciate him more every day. Follow me as I blog through my life...Welcome! "Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime." - Ernest Hemingway
4 comments:
Are you taking lamictal? My daughter takes it....it's a mood stabilization drug and it has worked WONDERS for her. I remember the rash being a big risk, but she never had an ounce of trouble and once you get to the desired dosage (she takes 100 mg a day....but she had to start at 25 a day and slowly work her way up to 100) the risk disappears. So if you can just get thru the beginning, you should be OK!!
HANG IN THERE~!!!
((hugs))
Jeanne
To me, some diagnosis is better than nothing. Bipolar goes undiagnosed a lot of the time. I hope this new med works out wonderfully for you so you can get your life back and be happy!!!
Luv~Heather
Just think...you are gaining control of your own life again!! And that something to look very forward to! :) We have already talked about this...but I just wanted to leave ya a comment so you know I am reading. ;)
Love ya!
well...your right... I dont always believe that people need medications to feel normal... but I have never personally dealt with depression so I cannot pass any judgement on something I know nothing about.
However, I did just get done praying for you...praying that you will someday turn your fears and anxieties over to Jesus... becuase He is truly the only giver of Peace in this world. ANd I do so hopr that you find peace in your heart...and that you find joy and happiness. You are such a wonderful and supportive and thoughtful person Tracie... I am thankful that I know you and thankful that you are willing to call me friend.
Many blessings-
Amanda
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