welcome to my life...the story continues

I have reached the pits of wuss-dom. Yes, it's a word....look it up. I thought I was all big and bad cutting myself off of the Wellbutrin. "I don't need no stinkin' antidepressants...". Sigh. Apparently, there is a part of me that does. The part of me that is lying in a puddle of tears in the corner, shaking like a leaf needs something. Really badly. The wuss.

I really do love the idea of less chemicals in my sytem. Love it. But, not if it means I am going to feel near death three of four times a day.

My panic attacks are hitting me hard, and often. Not just the shaky ones....no, it's the "I can't take a deep breath, is this a heart attack, why is this damn room spinning" variety. Good times, good times.

I have no insurance at the moment...but I have to go see Mr. Shrinky Dinky again. I hate going to see him. He looks like Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey as an alcholic on a permanent tropical vacation. Ack...those shirts....they are hideous.

And I always feel the need to mess with his head when we have our "chats". He asks me if I am seeing things that aren't really there. "Dude. If I am seeing them, how will I know they aren't really there?" Do you have thoughts of hurting yourself or others? "Just when they piss me off really bad." Errr. Uhhh.

I believe in getting my money's worth with that man.

Ok, he knows I am joking and he makes me be serious then.

Like, how I seriously need something to stop these freaking panic attacks A.S.A.P.



(Insert witty closing line here. The one I can't come up with. Yet. )